'You're playing checkers in a chess world!' - submitted by CC

'If you don't have anything nice to say...come sit by me.' - submitted by Patty Tokahuta-Kelsey

'...wait over by the car, honey. Over by the car. Over by the CAR Honey! OVER BY THE CAR! BY THE CAR! BY THE CAR! NOW! NOW! NOOOOWWWWW!!!!'

'We're all whores, darlin'. We take the cash, we cash the checks, we show them what they want to see.'

'...like you need a sign on the wall to remind you of that!'

'...I was a short, fat, slut?'

'NOW a warning?'

'What the hell is this, a piano bar or a Nazi work camp?'

'Can we please just stick to a little decorative piano?'

'Why, I can make a hat or a brooch...or a pterodactyl'

'...It was dirty there...and there were no outlets!'

'What is this, hell week?'

'Look, maybe my balls don't itch.' - 'All balls itch! It's a fact!'

'Jeez...you make it sound like I was gonna pee on him or something...'

'I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don't want it violated or killed, alright? Speak any English? DICKHEAD!'

'Don't mind her. She's just upset that someone dropped a house on her sister.'

'Do I understand this correctly? Am I being marked down?'

'Fred, she's gotten her boobies'

'...that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus TWO plus one plus one.'
'Okay, fine. One plus two plus one - SHUT UP!'

'Buddy, you're a really great guy, but something about you worries me...'

'I'm a little black woman in a big silver box.'

'Mawage! Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday...and wuv!...Twoo wuv!'

'It's my industrial strength hair dryer, AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!'

'She lost control on the uneven parallel bars...she practically spun to death'

'...cheer up or I'll blow your face off...'

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